


Necklace Of Bones

by A_Million_Regrets



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Emotional Sex, Happy Ending, M/M, Magic, Magical Elements, beast Phil, kinda dramatic, kinda emotional
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:34:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29333127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Million_Regrets/pseuds/A_Million_Regrets
Summary: Dan hears the story of a beast who was banished from the world of beasts ten thousand years ago. Apparantly, the beast now wanders the earth, searching for his long-lost companion. The story doesn't move Dan. In fact, he thinks it's unbelievably boring, but his thoughts immediately change when he returns home and finds a giant red door in his home. Beyond the door is a black room, and inside the room, he meets a man with blue eyes and black horns on his head. Dan doesn't know who the man is, but he feels a deep sense of nostalgia when he looks at him.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 10
Kudos: 30





	Necklace Of Bones

Dan's mind was oddly vacant as he looked up at the bleak evening sky through the cafe's window. It was cloudy outside, and there was a crispy chill in the air. He was a little cold, a little unsettled, and he could feel a weird tightness in his chest. It was an uncanny feeling, something like sorrow, but a sorrow without reason. He smelt something strange in the air, and his stomach swooped unusually. He pulled his warm jacket closer to his body and rubbed his cold hands, emptily turning his tired gaze back to his friend. “Louise.”

Louise didn't look up from her notebook. “Yeah?”

Dan placed his chin on his hand and murmured, “It's going to rain soon.”

“Mm.”

Dan huffed exasperatedly at her dismissive tone and glanced out of the window quietly, watching the thick black clouds roll and rumble for a while. The knot in his stomach was tightening. The sorrow in his chest was deepening. He felt a little uneasy, like he was forgetting something important. What day was it? An important day, but he didn't really know why. His hand subconsciously moved towards his neck, and his pale fingers curled around the pendant on his neck. He breathed in the cold air and sighed softly.

It was happening again. It happened every once in a while. There was always a strange feeling in his gut. Something like fear. Something like sadness. Something like a distant memory that he was trying to recall, but he never could. It was a throbbing ache in his chest that just never went away no matter how hard he tried. It was always there, settled at the bottom of his stomach, nagging at him all the time. Sometimes, like now, it would rise to the surface and overwhelm him. It felt nostalgic. The feeling. Nostalgia, and maybe a deep deep sense of longing for something . . . something, but he didn't know what.

“Dan,” Louise muttered with a frown.

Dan blinked, tearing his gaze away from the sky. “Hm? What?” he asked in a silent voice. “Did you say something?”

Louise arched an eyebrow and gave him a strange look. “We're here to study, Dan.” She pointed at the books and papers in front of him and tapped her temple. “Concentrate.”

“Ah, yeah,” he murmured absently, looking down at the words on the page. It felt strangely far away, like the words were floating and not real. It felt like he had already read it, memorised it by heart. Every sentence seemed so familiar, like he had read them a million times before. “Sorry.”

Louise rolled her eyes and sighed. She tapped her manicured nails against the papers on the table and frowned. “I don't get this part. I've read it a thousand times, but I just don't get it.”

“Which part?” he asked slowly. “Let me see.”

Louise extended the notebook towards him, pointing at a particular paragraph with her forefinger. “This–”

“Louise?”

Dan looked up in surprise at the familiar voice. “Katie.” He blinked.

Katie smiled at him, padding over cheerfully with a book clutched against her chest. “Hey!” she chirped jovially. “What are you guys doing here?” Her gaze wandered to the books, papers and pens scattered on the table and immediately filled with sympathy. “Exams?”

Louise let out a frustrated groan and dropped her forehead against the books in front of her. “Yeah!” she complained angrily with a loud, irritated huff, “Ugh. I'm so tired.”

Dan smiled at her antics, and Katie gave him a knowing look, squeezing herself into the booth and plopping down next to Louise. She slammed the book in her hand on the table with a sigh. “I know, right? Exams suck.”

Louise nodded eagerly. “I think I need a little break. I'm so–”

Dan turned away and tuned out the rest of the conversation. He glanced at the dark, looming sky and watched silently as rain drizzled on the pavement little by little, turning the mellow atmosphere of the street into something more sombre and murky. His hands were suddenly ice cold, and he slipped them into his pockets with a small, annoyed frown. He didn't know what was wrong with him. Why was he feeling so out of place? Why was he feeling like he didn't belong?

He had always been like this. For some reason, he couldn't remember ever laughing out loud. Whenever he laughed or smiled, there was always this strange feeling of emptiness at the bottom of his stomach, an unsettling feeling, something nagging at his brain. It was suffocating, and every laugh felt insincere. He could never get rid of it no matter how hard he tried. It was always there. He couldn't remember ever laughing to his heart's content. It had never happened. Everything was right in his life, but there was always something missing. He was always a little empty. He was always searching for something. It was starting to happen more and more often these days.

“Dan?”

Dan blinked and turned back to Katie. “Yeah?”

Katie frowned and pointed to his neck. “What's that? I never noticed it before.”

Dan faltered, and he suddenly realised that he had been holding his pendant again. He let go immediately and slipped the chain into his T-shirt. “It's nothing,” he responded hastily.

Katie furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Is that a bone?” she asked in an intrigued voice. “It looked like a shark's tooth.”

Dan swallowed nervously. “Erm, it's just some animal's bone. I found it in the backyard when I was a kid,” he explained carefully, “I just keep it with me.”

“Ew, that's kinda creepy,” Louise commented with a grimace on her face. “I thought it was plastic. Why would you wear a dead animal's bone around your neck?”

“It's like a good-luck charm.” Dan shrugged nonchalantly.

Louise made a face. “Ew.”

Katie furrowed her eyebrows in curiosity and looked down at her book. “Wow, what a coincidence.”

Louise frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Katie held up the thick book in her hand and pointed. “This,” she said as an explanation, “The necklace of bones by Lyra Redfield.” She shoved it in front of him to show him. “See? That thing looks like the necklace of bones in the picture, doesn't it?” She pulled it back and hugged it close against her chest, sighing in a daze. “I just borrowed it from a friend to read it again. Everyone I know has read it. It's such a beautiful story.”

Louise raised her eyebrows in surprise, looking interested. “What is it about?” she asked in a curious voice.

It was slightly dark inside the cafe, and Dan silently took a small sip of his long-forgotten coffee. “Lyra Redfield?” he quipped, “Never heard of her.”

Katie blinked in shock. “You have never heard of Lyra Redfield?” she asked in a baffled voice, “She was a great author, and this is her most famous work.” She held up the book enthusiastically.

Dan crossed his legs and sighed softly. His chest tightened uneasily, and he was oddly unsettled. “What's so great about it?”

Katie faltered. “Well . . . she died after writing this book, and her friends were the ones who got it published. I think that's how she became so popular, but . . . I think it's still a good book. It's beautiful.”

“What's it about?” Louise repeated keenly.

“Hm . . . I read it a long time ago, but . . .” Katie began contemplatively, “It's about a beast who was banished from the world of beasts for committing a crime ten thousand years ago. The beast continues to wander the earth searching for his long-lost companion. His companion has a necklace of bones, and that's how the beast will find him when it's time to find him.”

Dan's stomach twisted uncomfortably. “Sounds a bit boring,” he muttered under his breath.

“Well, yeah, it is a little bit,” Katie admitted with a shrug. “But it's a really good bittersweet love story. I remember crying my eyes out when I read it for the first time as a teenager.”

“Wow, that sounds interesting,” Louise chimed in enthusiastically. “Can I borrow it?”

Katie scowled. “No. Let me read it first.”

“You've already read it!” Louise complained, “Let me read it.”

“That was a long time ago. I forgot most of the story–”

Dan turned away from the argument with a heavy heart, staring at the pitter-pattering rain outside. The window was now covered with drops of rain, and it ran in rivulets down the glass. The noise of the rain was like faint drumbeats in his ears, and there was that feeling again in his chest. A feeling of pain, fear and a bit of nostalgia. “When it's time,” he whispered absently, staring at the grey sky. His fingertips were ice cold, and he was feeling suffocated. He stood up suddenly, startling Louise and Katie. “I'm going home,” he muttered hollowly, gathering his books and tossing them into his bag. “Bye, Louise.”

“Dan, wait–”

Dan didn't turn back as he hauled his bag over his shoulder. “See you later.”

~*~

Dan stumbled into his apartment unsteadily. Thankfully, the rain had slowed down for a little while, and he was able to reach his home without getting completely wet. His shoulders and hair were slightly damp, and he sneezed silently, sniffing and wiping his nose in frustration. He was still feeling cold and uneasy, and his apartment should've been dark and freezing, but it wasn't. The lights were on, and he could hear a rummaging noise from the inside. He wiped the water on his forehead and stepped towards the drawing-room. “Matt? Is that you?” He wanted to be alone, but that seemed impossible.

The rummaging stopped, and there was a loud thud and a pained noise. “Ow. Yup, it's me!” Matt called back loudly.

Dan sighed softly. He removed his bag and hurled it to the sofa, slipping his hand into his hair and shaking it to remove the droplets of water from his head. There were loud thumps of footsteps, and Matt strode into the living room with a blue T-shirt in his hand. “Hey.”

Dan looked up and smiled, but he knew it didn't look genuine. Matt smiled back and explained, “I looked for this T-shirt everywhere. You took it when you wore it that one time.” Matt closed the distance between them and gave him a peck on the lips, slipping his hand around Dan's waist gently. “Tired?”

Dan sighed weakly. “Very.”

Matt nodded understandingly. “I'll let you rest then,” he said as he moved back, “I have to go.”

“New part-time job?” Dan asked lazily, stretching his arms with a relieved moan.

Matt turned away. “Yup. I'll see you later.”

“Mm,” Dan mumbled absently, falling back against the sofa and staring up at the ceiling vacantly. There was a rustling noise as Matt collected his things and pulled his bag over his shoulder. Hurried footsteps and a slam of the door told Dan that Matt had left, and he let out a breath of relief. Matt was a great guy. He was kind and honest, and he was always nice to Dan, but it never really felt like a real, genuine relationship. It always seemed like they were together for the sake of just being with _someone._ Dan didn't mind being with Matt, but he was not in love with him. Something always felt amiss. He always felt a bit lonely.

“Ugh,” Dan closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “What the hell am I thinking?” he muttered in shame. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

Minutes slipped by, and silence surrounded him, entered every pore and consumed him. The drawing-room was dark and congested, even with bare-minimum furniture. The rain had probably stopped but the smell of it was still in the air. The atmosphere was humid, and his fingertips were fucking freezing for some reason. He swallowed uncomfortably, and his apartment was so quiet that he could hear the tiny pattering noise of droplets falling into his sink in the kitchen. He tiredly sprawled on the sofa and curled into a ball, feeling lonely and restless.

During moments like this, he felt like it would be better to just disappear from this world altogether. There was nothing in this world that truly interested him. He had several friends and acquaintances, but he was never able to form a genuine connection with anyone. Life was boring, and the polluted air of the city was suffocating. His dreams were filled with the images of forests and beautiful snow-covered mountains. He yearned for the warmth of nature and the scent of fresh, wet earth right after rain. He didn't want to be here anymore.

Dan huffed and forced his odd thoughts to the back of his mind. He stood up lethargically and stretched, padding quietly through the hallway towards his bedroom. His mind was deep in random, pointless thoughts, and at first, he walked past it without noticing anything strange in the hallway. He carded his fingers through his hair and opened his door, heading straight for the bed and collapsing face-first on top of it. He stayed there for several minutes, but then the image crept into his mind. He blinked and frowned in confusion, rising to his feet swiftly and walking back into the hallway in disorientation.

There it was. A bright red door. A door that hadn't been there yesterday or the day before that. A door that he had never seen before. He moved back and stared at it for a long time, folding his hands and wondering if he had somehow missed it. Maybe it had always been there, and he had always just walked past it. He had lived in the apartment for two years, but he had never noticed a door there before. How was it possible? Was this a dream? Did someone break into his home just to build a new room for him? Did Matt make it? Was it just a random door, or was there an actual room behind it? Just where the fuck did it come from?

Dan's eyebrows furrowed, and he stepped towards it, lifting his hand and grabbing the doorknob. His fingers tingled, and a jolt of electricity climbed up his arm. “Whoa,” he breathed. The sensation vanished quickly, and he frowned, opening it curiously.

Something unnaturally bright assaulted Dan's eyes, and he squeezed his eyes shut, using his arm to block the bright light. It took a few minutes for the light to dim, and Dan fluttered his eyes repeatedly, walking into the room, unusually intrigued. He blinked repeatedly and lowered his arm, staring at his unfamiliar vicinage with shock. The room was completely black. The walls, the floor, everything was black, and there was nothing in the room. It was completely empty without any windows or furniture. He stared with wide eyes, quietly walking towards the centre and staring at the black ceiling in amazement. What was this room?

Dan heard a small noise from his left side, and he jerked back to look up at the dark corner. His eyes widened, and he walked backwards when he noticed a silhouette in the darkness. His heart was pounding, and he watched quietly as a tall man stepped forward cautiously, his face coming into full view slowly.

Dan let out a loud gasp and stumbled back against the wall, staring at the man in complete shock. “W-who . . .” His throat constricted abruptly, and a sudden, intense sensation of nostalgia spread through his stomach like wildfire. It surrounded him and consumed him, and he was frozen on the floor.

There was a man in front of him. A man with dark hair, icy-blue eyes and large black horns on his forehead. The man had claws on his hands, and he was wearing some kind of traditional anklets and bracelets. He didn't have a shirt on, but he was wearing torn brown pants and some kind of fur coat that looked like it had been ripped straight off an animal's back. He gazed at Dan calmly for several seconds, and his eyes were such a clear blue that Dan was mesmerised. He felt like he was bound to the floor, and he couldn't move.

The man smiled suddenly, his lips twitching up into such a perfect smile that his blue eyes seemed to sparkle. Dan's breath caught in his throat. His lips quivered suddenly, and his stomach turned, sending a swirling burst of emotions throughout his body. He felt breathless, his thoughts all messy, feelings all tangled up in his throat. He was shaking. He didn't know what was happening, but he couldn't move. It felt overwhelming and terrifying, but relieving at the same time. He felt like he had been waiting for this single moment all of his life. It felt like deja vu, but several times more intense than normal, and his heart refused to calm down.

Something wet trailed down his cheeks, and his throat burned. He lifted his violently shaking hand and touched his face, blinking repeatedly and twisting his face as tears cascaded down his face. “F-fuck, why am I . . .” he breathed shakily, “. . . sad?”

The man's blue gaze didn't waver. He strode towards Dan steadily and pulled him into a squeezing hug, and it was a hug so tight, so warm and so comforting that Dan felt like he was melting. A familiar, wonderful smell invaded his nose, and he buried his face into the warmth of the man's body. “Phil,” he said breathlessly, “Phil. Phil. Phil.” He sniffed and let out a broken sob. The man's hand tangled in Dan's hair, and his arms wrapped around Dan tightly. He squeezed Dan against his chest, nuzzling his nose against Dan's neck. Dan's hands curled against the man's back desperately as he repeated an unfamiliar name over and over and over again, without knowing what he was saying, and why he was saying it.

The man didn't say anything or complain, but his hands wandered all over Dan, squeezing and pressing and touching desperately. Dan was suddenly a sobbing mess, and he didn't know why he was feeling so emotional, and why he was aching so badly that he felt like he was dying from the rush of emotions inside him. Time didn't matter, and Dan couldn't let go of the man even though he wanted to. He was afraid the door would disappear, the man would vanish and they would never meet again. He was shaking, and he couldn't breathe.

He didn't know how long it took for him to calm down, but he knew he sobbed for a long long time. The man didn't complain. He simply stood there and hugged Dan back just as tightly. His hands were rough but firm and warm, and Dan felt like his entire being was trembling with relief. He felt like the man was squeezing his soul itself. The pit in his stomach had vanished. The longing ache in his chest had been replaced by something wonderfully warm. There were little butterflies in his stomach, and he had never felt so complete.

The man pulled back eventually and cupped his face, smiling gently as he placed their foreheads together. Dan sniffed, and his eyes widened when he noticed the tiny glowing thing hanging from the man's neck. The man lifted his hand and pulled Dan's pendant out of his T-shirt. It was glowing brightly, and Dan stared with awe in his gaze. “W-why . . . what is–” He looked up into the eyes of the man. “–happening?” he breathed shakily.

The man smiled and cupped Dan's jaw, leaning in slowly. Dan blinked and slowly snapped back to reality. His eyes widened, and he shoved the man back. “W-wait–” he panted, staring wildly at the black walls of the room. “What is–what is happening? Wh–what am I d-doing? Why am I–” He clutched his throbbing forehead and stared at his feet with wide, terrified eyes. “Who are–who are you? Where am I?”

The man tilted his head in confusion. Dan glanced at his horns and swallowed harshly. “Horns. Are those . . .” He breathed deeply and tried to stop panicking. What was happening to him? Who was this man? Why did Dan know his name? “. . . real horns? How–how is this possible? Fuck–” He slapped his forehead, and he was puzzled and frightened. “What is happening? Am I dreaming?”

The man blinked and walked towards him cautiously. Dan stilled like a deer in headlights and watched shakily as the man smiled happily and slid his hand around Dan's waist, pulling him close to his chest. Dan's body automatically melted against him, and he looked up at the man's face with wide eyes. The man leaned close and peppered his face and neck with gentle kisses, and Dan's knees almost gave out. He squeezed his eyes shut, and his fingers curled against the man's naked chest. His breaths came out in small pants, and he had to force himself to push the man back.

The man blinked, looking extremely confused again. He stared at Dan for a long time, and Dan stared back breathlessly. The man shrugged suddenly and snapped his fingers. A large, glistening door appeared behind him, and Dan staggered back in shock. “W-what the–”

The man smiled softly and gestured towards the door. “Si hue shiic tuon, Dan,” he whispered in a gruff voice.

His voice was so beautiful that Dan's heart thumped and tears filled his eyes. Dan stumbled back in terror, grabbing his hair in frustration. “W-what the hell? What language is that? How do you know my name?”

The man huffed and rolled his eyes exasperatedly, shaking his head with a small smile. He grabbed Dan's hand and pulled him towards the door. Dan's eyes widened. “W-wha . . .” Something told him that he shouldn't go near that door. He snatched his hand back abruptly and moved away. “N-no, I'm not going–I can't–” His arms touched something behind him, and he turned immediately. The red door and his familiar hallway came into view, and he rushed towards it hastily, grabbing the doorknob before it disappeared, trapping him with the strange man forever.

Dan stumbled back into the hallway and slammed the red door shut, breathing heavily and letting out ragged pants. He staggered away from the door and placed his hand against his pounding heart, his chest heaving uncomfortably. “What the f-fuck,” he exhaled fearfully, “Am I seeing things? H-hallucination? Fuck, I just saw real horns on a man's head–” He grabbed his hair and wiped the tear tracks off his cheeks. His throat was dry, and he stepped forward shakily. “W-water. I need–calm down. I need to drink some w-water and calm down. This isn't real. I–I didn't see anything.”

Dan hurried unsteadily into his kitchen, his arms and limbs shaky and unstable. His face was hot to the touch and burning. His heart was still in an ecstatic state, pounding against his chest. His body tingled everywhere, and he had never felt like this before. He had never experienced anything like this. It was terrifying. He grabbed a mug hastily and filled it with water, gulping it down with shaking hands. He leaned back against the sink, and his fingers tightened around the mug. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to control his breathing.

It took him several painful minutes to calm down. He took a deep breath, and when he was sure his heartbeat had returned to normal, he swallowed and slowly opened his eyes, only to see the man and a bright door directly in front of him, in the middle of his disorganised kitchen. The mug in his hand toppled to the floor, and he gasped. “Fuck!”

The man smiled, and Dan backed away. “D-don't–don't come near–”

The man pulled him into a hug once again, and Dan melted immediately. His throat closed up, and he couldn't speak. The man's hand tangled in his hair, and Dan's legs wobbled with relief. His knees gave out, but the man's strong arms held him closely and lowered him to the floor as he hugged Dan so tightly that he couldn't breathe, couldn't think. He was shocked and frightened by his own reactions, but he couldn't say he didn't like it. It felt amazing and comforting. It felt natural and familiar, and his hands grabbed the man's shoulders as he closed his eyes and breathed in the familiar earthy smell of moss and wood.

Minutes went by, and Dan could feel the man's hands moving through his hair. His shaking had stopped, replaced by a content, peaceful feeling in his gut. The strange emptiness at the bottom of his stomach that always irked him had vanished, and he didn't know why. His eyes were closed, and the man's warmth flowed into him. It was strangely comfortable, and his brain was telling him to move, but his body refused to listen. He stayed still and silent and focused on regaining his ability to speak. His mind was still jumbled with thoughts and confused, but he was finally a little bit calm.

The man pulled back suddenly, and Dan's fingers reluctantly let go of his shoulder. He stared up at the man's kind face and blue eyes. “W-who are you?” he asked in a quiet voice.

The man's hand came up to rest on Dan's cheek, and he smiled, his eyes full of undeniable affection. “Phil,” he answered softly.

Dan's heart pounded oddly at the sound of his voice. “Phil?”

Phil nodded, leaning close to press gentle kisses on the side of his face. Dan swallowed nervously and placed his hand against Phil's chest. “W-wait,” he whispered, and Phil stilled, tilting his head in confusion. “I just–I don't know who you are. I don't know how you know my name. This is–this is overwhelming. I don't–” Dan gathered his strength and pushed Phil back, standing up and turning to the sink. He carded his fingers through his hair and sighed. “You have horns on your head,” he blurted awkwardly.

Phil's hands slid around his waist, and he placed a kiss on Dan's neck. Dan stilled and frowned in frustration, turning around and shoving him away. “What is wrong with you? Stop–stop touching me!” he shouted loudly in annoyance and confusion.

Phil pursed his lips and sighed heavily, looking a little sad. He gestured to the door behind him and grabbed Dan's hand, pulling him towards the door. Dan pulled his hand back and glared at Phil. “I don't know you. I don't know why–I don't know why you're here. You are–are you my imagination? Like–imaginary friend?” Dan blinked. “W-wait. That is actually possible.” He gulped in horror. “Fuck. I'm crazy. I need to–wait, you need to leave. You need to–” Dan grabbed Phil's hand and pulled him forward shakily.

Phil followed him diligently, and Dan led him to the front door. He opened it and pushed Phil out of the door. “Go away,” he blurted and slammed it shut, taking a deep breath to compose himself. He swallowed and trudged towards his bedroom unsteadily. “I'm fine,” he muttered firmly to himself, “Nothing happened. Nothing at all. I'm just tired. I haven't been getting enough sleep lately. I'm really really tired. I need to rest. I–I should sleep.”

Dan stumbled into his bedroom and collapsed on his bed. “Nothing happened. Everything is fine.” He closed his eyes tightly. “I'll feel better when I wake up, and I'll stop seeing things that don't exist.”

~*~

Dan woke up the next morning, feeling refreshed and energetic. He remembered the strange events immediately, but he was able to push it to the back of his mind. It was just too absurd, and it all felt like a very vivid dream. There was no such thing as magic, and doors didn't appear out of thin air. People didn't have horns and claws, and Dan wasn't crazy. He had been tired and depressed, and he had imagined something strange in a moment of vulnerability. It had been a dream, a terrifying nightmare, nothing more.

Dan got up, got ready for university, ate his cereal, and grabbed his bag. He was completely ready to leave, but when he finally stood in front of the door, he hesitated for a moment. He grasped the doorknob, but he was reluctant to open the door. Even though he was sure it had been a dream, he still trembled to his core when he remembered the sound of Phil's voice and the warmth of his strong arms. The pit in his stomach was widening even more, and he didn't know what he was so scared of. It was weird. He was scared that Phil would still be there, but at the same time, he was _terrified_ of Phil not being there.

Dan swallowed nervously and opened the door, taking a deep breath. He looked up anxiously and the first thing he saw was the familiar face of an excited Phil. He was standing there, waiting for Dan, and Dan's throat squeezed painfully. Phil smiled and shuffled towards him, leaning close to place a feather-light peck on his lips. Dan's eyes widened in shock, and he shoved Phil back. “What the fuck are you doing?” he snapped in anger and fear. “Why–why are you still here? I don't know you. I don't know what you want. Don't–” Dan stepped outside and locked his door hurriedly. “I should just ignore you. You don't exist.”

Dan turned and walked away hastily, his fingers tightening around the strap of his bag. For whatever reason, his hallucination was listening to him. It was thankfully not following him, and Dan felt a bit relieved. Maybe if he continued to ignore it, it would eventually go away. He ran down the stairs and out to the street, jogging slightly to get away. He was out of breath and aching, and he looked up at the black sky. His chest was a little heavy, and he didn't know why this was happening to him. What had he done?

He had lived a quiet, uneventful life, and he had always been a little lonely, but he had never felt this . . . this aching uneasiness in his chest before. This feeling of familiarity and fondness for . . . for something, but he couldn't describe it. It was a yearning mixed with a deep feeling of sadness. Every time he remembered Phil's gentle face, a strange ache in his heart told him he was forgetting something important, missing something crucial, but he couldn't remember it no matter how hard he tried. It made him unsettled and upset. He didn't want this. He didn't want to feel like this anymore. It was agonizingly painful.

~*~

Dan came back after a long day and found Phil in front of his door, sitting cross-legged on the floor. He stood up and smiled ear to ear when he saw Dan. His blue eyes shimmered like sapphires, and his gaze was full of affection. Dan had never seen anything like that ever before, but he couldn't stand to look at Phil's face. He ignored Phil and walked into his apartment, closing the door in his face. He spent the entire day pacing back and forth in his room, contemplating if he should see a therapist. At night, he went to sleep wondering whether or not Phil would be there in the morning.

Sure enough, Phil was there even the next morning, standing with a smile on his face. He was there that morning and the next morning as well. In fact, he was there all week, just sitting outside Dan's door and waiting for Dan. He never came inside, but he always smiled wonderfully when he saw Dan, and his eyes always sparkled clearly with delight. He would try to touch or hug Dan, but he stopped whenever Dan told him to get away from him. Phil always faltered at that and the happiness in his gaze dimmed whenever Dan did that.

After ten days of ignoring Phil's existence, Dan was distressed. He was beginning to feel bad, and there was always a tightness in his chest that refused to go away. He was restless and disconcerted all the time. He was always stressed, and the only thing that calmed him down was the bone hanging from his neck. His fingers always clenched around them whenever he was upset, and it weirded him out. Every time, he saw Phil's eager face, he felt like crying, but his mind told him that it was a strange reaction. He was conflicted and horrified by his own thoughts, and he couldn't take it anymore.

“Come in,” he whispered in a vulnerable voice, opening the door fully.

Phil smiled at him widely, not looking the least bit upset by Dan's behaviour. His horns were large and prominent on his head, and Dan faltered a little. He swallowed and turned away, but Phil's arms around his waist stopped him. Phil squeezed him, placing his chin on Dan's shoulder and humming in satisfaction. Dan stilled and a lump grew in his throat. He remained quiet as Phil placed kisses on his shoulder, making his hands tremble. He squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to say, “I want to talk. Can you let go of me, please?”

Phil nodded against his shoulder, moving away with a smile. He lifted his hand and snapped his fingers. The red door appeared behind him, and Phil grinned brightly. “Turia la fa?”

Dan blinked and shook his head. “N-no. I'm not–” He took a deep breath. “Look, I just want to talk. I'm not going inside that door.”

Phil's smile faltered slightly, but he nodded. “Omni.” The door disappeared instantly.

“Sit.” Dan gestured towards the chair in front of him, taking a seat on the sofa and pursing his lips.

Phil glanced at the chair and frowned. He shrugged and dropped down next to Dan on the sofa, scooting closer to him happily and wrapping his arms around Dan's chest. He smiled at Dan. “Mi lana faye, Dan,” he whispered softly, placing their foreheads together and closing his eyes with a smile. “Mi lana faye.”

The pendants glowed brightly, and a painful lump grew in Dan's throat. He didn't know what Phil was saying, but the emotion behind his words was somehow properly conveyed. Dan swallowed harshly, and he lifted his shaky hand, placing it against Phil's cheek. Phil opened his eyes, and the brightness of his blue eyes made Dan shiver. “Who are you?” he asked in a small voice. “Why do I . . .” Dan bit his lip and his eyes were getting teary. “Why do I feel like crying when I look at you?”

Phil smiled and cupped his face gently, his face slowly inching closer and closer. His breaths fanned Dan's cheeks, and Dan's eyes automatically fluttered close. Phil pressed a soft kiss on his lips, and he melted instantly. His breaths quickened, and he felt Phil's lips move slowly. Dan's heart was pounding, and his head was all dizzy. He wanted to pull away, but it felt so good. Goosebumps arose all over his body, and his lips were tingly. Phil's hand tangled in his hair, and he slowly lowered Dan to his back and pressed him against the sofa. Dan's chin tipped up desperately to kiss Phil back, and his heart was filled with pure bliss. Phil pulled back and hovered over him with a smile playing at his lips, and a smug glint in his blue eyes.

Dan's breath caught in his throat, and he suddenly felt breathless. A feeling of nostalgia trickled into him, and he couldn't stop staring at Phil. Something nagged at the back of his mind, a distant memory, a feeling that he had seen this all before, he had felt it all before. It was so intense that he couldn't stop himself. His hands wrapped around Phil's neck, and he was desperately aching to experience that feeling again, that feeling of tingling warmth in his stomach. He pulled Phil down and connected their lips into a frantic, rough kiss. Phil let out a surprised noise from his throat, but Dan could feel his lips stretch into a smile, and his heart rammed against his chest.

Everything that happened next happened very quickly. Phil's fingers tangled in his hair, and his lips moved a little faster, a little rougher than before. He trailed his mouth down to place wet, lingering kisses down Dan's jaw, and Dan's chest was heaving. His fingers and toes curled, and he had never felt like this before. He had never felt so desperate. He had never wanted something this much. Phil's warm hands slipped under his shirt and explored his skin, sending electrifying thrills throughout his body. He pressed a wet kiss just above his belly-button, and Dan shuddered.

Phil was warm, warm and gentle, and his touches were loving, his smiles a little teasing. His blue eyes were all Dan could see, and his mind was a little hazy. Phil's lips brushed every inch of his chest, and his hands roamed, sliding and pressing down on every sensitive spot. Suddenly, Dan couldn't think, and all he could feel was the heat from Phil's touch. Phil smiled and leaned up to kiss him, his hands shoving Dan's shirt out of the way. Their legs tangled, and Dan was spread out on the sofa. Phil pressed him down and kissed him so tenderly that Dan felt weak and light-headed.

His shirt was pulled over his head and he kicked his jeans out of the way. The room was cold, but he barely felt the chill. All he could feel was Phil's warmth all over him, the heat in his belly, and the flush that crept up his neck. He was undone with pleasure, gasping, whimpering and helpless. Phil moved and kissed and touched him like he knew every inch of Dan's body, his favourite spots and sensitive places. Phil's finger pressed against his hole, and Dan whimpered, arching his back and tightening his legs. His knees went weak, and he felt a tingling sensation crawling up his spine to his neck.

“Omni,” Phil murmured and a vial of a bright purple liquid tumbled into his hands from thin air.

Dan was breathless and panting, and his eyes fluttered shut. He felt open and vulnerable and so incredibly turned on that he was drunk on the feeling. Phil's fingers slipped inside effortlessly, and Dan arched his back, letting out a soft moan. He didn't know what the purple liquid was, but he could feel himself opening up, and his back arched with pleasure. His mouth fell open in a silent moan, and the room filled with the sound of gasps and whimpers and slick noises of Phil's fingers spreading him open.

Dan moaned and shuddered, and he felt Phil's mouth pressing kisses against his neck. Startling blue eyes were watching his every movement intensely, filled with an undeniable _want_ and Dan felt a dark red heat spreading across his cheeks. He arched his back and moaned. Phil pulled his fingers out, and Dan let out a shaky breath, staring up at Phil desperately. Phil removed his pants and stroked his cock, making Dan's breath hitch in his throat. Dan was naked, sprawled and laid out on the sofa, his legs wide open as he waited for Phil.

Phil leaned down and kissed him, and Dan moaned into his mouth. Phil's fingertips teasingly trailed up his chest, leaving goosebumps on his pale skin. He arched his back and shuddered. “W-want you,” he whimpered, “Please, Phil.”

The smile that bloomed on Phil's face was the most beautiful thing Dan had ever seen in his life. He moved back and aligned his cock with Dan's wet hole, pushing in little by little. Dan's face scrunched up in pleasure, his body tensing, his eyes fluttering close. It felt so good, it felt so good and familiar that Dan wanted to cry. His legs spread further and pulled Phil in deeper. Phil let out a soft groan, and it was music to Dan's ears. He arched his back, and his hands curled as he was pushed back against the sofa.

Phil leaned down to kiss him, and his hips started moving. Dan's chest throbbed with warmth and a bone-deep ache, and with every roll of Phil's hips, he felt pleasure thrumming through his body. He was ecstatic and emotional, and he let out breathless, needy gasps that somehow turned into whimpers and sobs. His vision blurred, and tears trailed down his cheeks. He felt like he had been waiting to touch Phil for years and years, and he couldn't believe Phil was finally here. He loved Phil so much. He had been aching and aching for Phil's touch for years and years, and it was finally happening.

Phil pulled back and thrust into him. His movements were slow and deep, and it filled him up and made him melt. His chest was burning, and he felt Phil's lips moving against his ears. Dan arched his back and moaned, and Phil peppered kisses on his neck, whispering something in a language Dan didn't understand, but it slightly soothed him. He sniffed and sobbed, and his hips bucked. He came with a silent gasp, and he could feel Phil's lips stroking his cheek and murmuring something. At that moment, he desperately wished he could understand what Phil was trying to say, but the thought left as soon as it came.

Phil let out a soft groan and Dan felt the wetness trickling into him. Phil moved a few more times and pulled out slowly, leaning down to place a kiss on Dan's lips. It was gentle and full of love and a small sob slipped out of Dan's lips. Phil snapped his fingers and Dan's body felt oddly cold and clean. Phil lay down beside him, and Phil's eyes were glassy and teary. Dan curled against his chest and sniffed silently. Phil's arms wrapped around him tightly, and he placed a soft kiss on Dan's head. His fingers moved through Dan's hair, and he whispered something soothingly into Dan's ear. Dan's chest was heavy with emotions, and he didn't know how to control it.

It took Dan several long minutes to calm down, and Phil continued to murmur in his ear. His eyes watched Dan and his thumb ran circles on his cheek. Dan had dried tears on his cheeks, but his chest felt all warm. He wanted to move away, but he couldn't. He was comfortable in this position. Phil's body was warm, and his smell was familiar. He was sleepy but content, and he couldn't move, but the guilt in his chest was unbearable. “I . . .” he swallowed harshly. “I cheated on my boyfriend . . .” He bit his lip guiltily and sniffed. “F-fuck. I'm a horrible person.”

Phil placed a brief kiss on his lips and smiled without saying anything. Dan's blood boiled in anger, and he clenched his jaw. “You don't understand anything, do you?”

Phil wrapped his arm around Dan's neck and pulled his face to his chest, hugging him tightly and burying his face in Dan's hair “Mi lana faye,” he murmured gently, “Mi lana faye.”

Dan's chest tightened, and the lump in his throat was huge. His gaze fell on the pendant of bone on Phil's neck, and he took it into his hands, staring at it silently. “Why do you have the same one?” he asked in a quiet voice, looking up at the horns on Phil's head. “What are you?”

Phil shook his head and smiled gently. He lifted his hand and snapped his fingers. “Omni.” Dan's blanket dropped on top of them from the ceiling, and Phil gently wrapped the blanket around Dan, brushing Dan's hair back from his face and wiping away his tears. Phil smiled and wrapped his arm around Dan, pulling him closer to his chest and closing his eyes with a satisfied sigh.

Dan blinked, and he wanted to get up and go back to his room, but his body was at his limit. His mind was full of guilt and regrets, but Phil's arms were so warm, and being near him made him feel safe and content. He ignored the logical part of his brain and closed his eyes, shuffling closer to Phil and sighing softly. It only took him a few minutes to fall into a deep slumber.

~*~

Dan stirred his warm mug of coffee with a spoon, his hands slightly shaking as he did it. The post-sex bliss and satisfaction had vanished a long time ago, and Dan was left with a crushing amount of guilt. His jaw was clenched, and he couldn't bear to look at Phil's face. Those blue eyes had somehow enthralled him, and he had made an irreparable mistake in the heat of the moment. His shame was slowly choking him. He was a terrible person who had cheated on his kind boyfriend, and he would never be able to reverse that fact. His thoughts were all messed up with remorse, and his body with filled with rage.

“Dan,” Phil murmured in a soft voice that sent shivers down Dan's spine. His arms wrapped around Dan's waist, and he placed his chin on Dan's shoulder, peppering kisses on Dan's neck.

Dan swallowed, and his fingers clenched the spoon tightly. “Stop,” he mumbled in an annoyed voice.

Phil pressed a kiss against his cheek. “Mi lana faye.”

Dan dropped the spoon abruptly and turned around angrily. “Stop it!”

Phil blinked in surprise, and his smile faltered a little. He stepped back and nodded quietly, looking hurt and upset. He pursed his lips and snapped his fingers. “Omni.” The red door appeared behind Phil, and he grabbed Dan's hand and pulled him.

Dan gritted his teeth and shoved Phil back. “Why don't you understand?” His eyes welled with tears, and he stared at the floor. “I don't know you. I don't know what is happening. I just fucking cheated on my boyfriend. I want to–I want to be alone. Can you just–can you please–”

“Dan? You here?”

Matt's gentle voice made Dan tense almost instantly. He stilled like a stone, and his heart hopped to his throat. His eyes widened in panic, and his gaze fell on Phil. He stumbled forward without thinking and pushed Phil. “Hide!” he hissed in trepidation. “You need to hide!”

Phil frowned at him and shook his head. Dan blinked in bafflement, his fingers clenching into fists. He could hear Matt's lazy footsteps and the sound of his melodic humming. It made Dan's heart clench with guilt, and his stomach sink in sorrow. Dan couldn't say he truly loved Matt, but he had always cared about him deeply. Matt had always been there for him whenever Dan needed him. He was kind-hearted and compassionate, and he always smiled when he saw Dan's face. They were an odd and unconventional couple. They never said “I love you” to each other, and they rarely even saw each other, but their lives were entangled strongly. They weren't passionately in love, but being with Matt was comforting and peaceful.

Dan couldn't believe what he had done. He couldn't accept the fact that he had actually cheated on Matt. His throat felt choked, and he pushed Phil. “Please, hide. Please–” he murmured shakily. “Please don't–”

“Dan.”

Dan stilled, and his heart plummeted. He swallowed the lump in his throat and slowly turned with wide, terrified eyes. Matt was staring at him, looking concerned and confused. Dan's hands were shaking. “M-matt, this is–”

“What are you doing, Dan?” Matt asked with a puzzled frown, lazily strolling towards him and placing a brief kiss on his mouth. “I just got off work. Oh, is that coffee?” He grabbed the mug and took a small sip, handing the mug to Dan with a smile. “I'm super tired, but I just thought I'd check in on you. You sounded really upset the other night on the phone. Is everything okay?”

Dan stood rigidly, completely motionless as he stared at Matt's unbothered face. He was dumbstruck, and he couldn't understand what had happened. He swallowed and turned to find Phil still standing there with an unreadable expression on his face. Dan turned back to Matt in bewilderment. “M-matt,” he murmured, and he could feel the blood draining from his face. “Can you–can you see a man behind me?”

Matt blinked. “Hm? What man?”

Dan's head was spinning, and he staggered forward, placing his trembling hands on the counter to steady himself.

Matt was immediately alert. He leaned away from the counter and placed his hand against Dan's back. “Hey, are you alright?” he asked worriedly.

Dan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I . . . I'm fine. I just–I'm just tired and . . . and stressed, probably. I just need some sleep,” he choked out quietly, “I'll be fine.”

Matt bit lip in concern. “Are you sure? You look really pale.”

“I'm sure, Matt.” Dan attempted to smile but failed. “I'll just–I should sleep. I should get some rest.”

“Of course.” He nodded understandingly. “Do you want me to stay?”

“No, I . . . I'll be fine. I know how busy you are. It's okay,” he responded hastily.

Matt nodded, and Dan avoided his worried gaze. He staggered towards the door shakily, and Matt followed him out of the kitchen. Dan's mind was completely jumbled, and he was convinced that he had somehow gone insane. He needed to be alone so he could talk with this . . . imaginary dude that was following him and clinging to him.

“Hey.” Matt's hand grasped Dan's wrist, and Dan turned nervously. “You know you can talk to me if something's bothering you, right?”

Dan's guilt was choking him. “Y-yeah. Of course. I just–it's not that. I'm honestly just tired. I'm going to sleep early. I will call you in the morning.”

Matt smiled and nodded. “Yeah.”

Dan watched quietly as Matt turned away from him and grabbed his things from the sofa, giving him a wave before walking towards the door and disappearing out of sight. The door closed behind him, and Dan's jaws clenched. “Can you stop fucking clinging to me?” he snapped angrily.

Phil placed a kiss on his bare shoulder, and his hands tightened around Dan's waist. “Quo,” he whispered, and he sounded like he was sulking. He peppered Dan's face with kisses, and Dan's skin simmered with rage.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Dan shouted, shoving Phil back and grabbing his hair in frustration. “Fuck! Are you even real? Did I create you?” Dan's mind was in chaos, and he was overwhelmed with emotions. His eyes turned teary, and he sniffed. “Fuck, I can't believe I actually fantasized about cheating on Matt. What is wrong with me?”

Phil placed a hand on Dan's shoulder, and the gentle touch made Dan's body tingle. He looked up at Phil in anger, but all Phil did was smile knowingly. “Omni,” he murmured, and the door appeared once again.

Dan stared at Phil's smiling face blankly, and his knees became weak. Dan didn't know Phil, but Phil's face and the subtle expressions he made were familiar and heart-warming to him. It was different from being with Matt. Matt was comforting like an extra blanket on a particularly cold day, or a cup of something cold during summertime. Phil was different. Phil was like the twisting swirl of emotions in his gut, like a hurricane on a normal afternoon, and looking at Phil was like looking at an old photograph of the past and being hit with that deep, distant nostalgia. His smiles made Dan's heart flutter, and he felt like he was experiencing deja vu, almost remembering something important, but it always slipped out of his grasp.

Dan was tired of it. Dan was tired of feeling like this. He had always felt like he was missing something, forgetting something, but he could never quite understand it. That strange feeling had now increased tenfold, and he didn't want to feel it anymore. He was done.

“I can't do this,” he whispered shakily, “I can't.”

Phil's smile faltered, and his hand grasped Dan's wrist, pulling him frantically towards the red door. Dan snatched it back and turned. “I can't do this,” he repeated firmly, heading straight for the door. His head was a mess as he walked out and slammed the door shut.

~*~

Dan stared up at the ceiling blankly, his chest empty, and his mind devoid of thoughts. He was trying not to think about anything. Thinking brought forth a flood of emotions and rushing feelings, and he didn't want to deal with it. It was confusing and distressing, and he didn't have any energy or interest left in him to even _consider_ contemplating about it. He was not going to think at all. He was just going to eject all and every thought out of his mind and focus on being calm and quiet. He was going to relax his body and–

“Dan!”

Dan sighed heavily and closed his eyes. “Urgh!” He rolled over the headboard and kicked the wall, rolling back to the edge of the bed in annoyance.

Katie loomed over him, standing akimbo and glaring down at him in disapproval. “It's 3 p.m. You haven't showered, and you're just lying around doing nothing. You've been holed up in this room for four days, Dan!” she berated angrily and huffed with a frown on her face. “I'm worried about you.”

Dan bit his bottom lip and inhaled deeply, slowly sitting up in embarrassment. He stared down at his hands vacantly. “Er, I can leave if you don't want me here.”

Katie smacked him on the head. “It's not that, you idiot,” she sighed, “I like having you here, you know that. It's just a little weird. Usually, you never want to hang out with us. You always go straight home after class. Louise and Matt are worried about you.” She huffed and walked back to the chair, taking a seat and crossing her legs. “What happened? Did you fight with Matt?”

“Yeah, something like that,” Dan lied quietly, avoiding her gaze.

Katie narrowed her eyes suspiciously, and Dan averted his eyes, his mind rushing to find something to change the topic. His gaze landed on the shelf of books to his left. “You have a lot of books,” he blurted hastily, swallowing his nervousness.

Katie blinked, and her eyes lit up. She jumped to her feet and walked to her shelf with a grin. “Yup!” she agreed giddily. “I love reading. This is a collection of my favourite books!” she gestured dramatically with both hands. “It's awesome, right? I have great taste,” she said playfully.

Dan faked a chuckle. “Y-yeah. That's amazing. Very nice.” He scratched his neck awkwardly, and Katie's eager eyes compelled him to ask, “Er, which one is your favourite?”

Katie blinked and tilted her head thoughtfully. “My favourite . . . ” She furrowed her eyebrows pensively, her hands brushing along the spines of different books. “Oh, this one!” She pulled a book out of the shelf and cheered, “The necklace of bones.” Her eyes were slightly dreamy. “I read it again last week after a long time, and I remembered why I loved it so much. It's so heartbreakingly beautiful, Dan. I think Lyra Redfield is my favourite author. I enjoyed some of her other works too, but this–” She held up the book. “–is a masterpiece!”

“What is it about?” Dan asked in disinterest, placing his chin on his palm silently. “I think you told me, but I forgot about it.”

“Hm,” Katie hummed pensively, sitting down on the chair and looking down at the book. “It's a bittersweet story of a beast who is stuck on earth because of a crime he committed ten thousand years ago.”

“Crime?” Dan asked with a frown, slightly intrigued.

Katie nodded earnestly. “He killed a human who accidentally wandered into their world. He was then banished from the world of beasts and sent to earth.”

Dan's chest was suddenly heavy, and he frowned in confusion. Something nagged at his brain again, and he felt like he was about to remember something important.

Katie clutched the book against her chest and explained, “On earth, he is reborn over and over again as a human for ten thousand years. That is his punishment.”

Dan's heart stopped for a second and then came pounding back against his chest. “P-punishment?”

“Yeah,” Katie nodded eagerly, “But the problem is that the beast had a lover. It's so so beautiful, Dan. They got married inside the skull of a giant ten thousand years ago, and they wore necklaces of bones to confirm their marriage.” She sighed heavily, “The beast got separated from his lover when he was banished though. It was really sad, but the whole thing was written in such a beautiful way. It made me cry.” Katie sniffed.

Dan's head was spinning wildly, and he stared at the book in Katie's hand with shocked eyes. His hands clenched around his pendant, and there was a swirling mess of thoughts inside his head. Something clicked in his mind, something distant and deep and nostalgic, and he was suddenly heaving. “N-necklace . . .” he choked out quietly.

“Dan,” Katie said worriedly, stepping closer to him and placing a hand on his back. “Dan, are you okay?”

Dan swallowed the lump in his throat and looked up at Katie with wide eyes. His hands grabbed her arms tightly. “Katie, did they meet?” he asked desperately.

Katie frowned. “What?”

Dan's throat constricted with pain. “D-did they meet at the end?”

Katie frowned even more in confusion and blinked. “Oh. The story.” Realisation dawned on her face, and she shook her head. “No. The story ends with the beast wishing his partner would come to take him back to their world.”

Dan let go of her shakily and swallowed. “Oh.” His gaze fell on the book in her hand, and he snatched it from her quickly. “I–I need to borrow that for–for a few d-days.”

“Okay, but you're being really weird about–”

“I have to go,” Dan blurted shakily, standing up hastily and heading straight for the door.

Katie blinked in surprise. “Dan, wait–what–”

Dan rushed down the hallway and hurried to the front door, his mind a messy cluster of thoughts as he held the book close to his chest. Everything suddenly fell into place, and his body trembled with anticipation. He heard Katie's questioning shrieks, but he didn't look back. He slammed the door shut and focused on getting back _home._

~*~

Dan unlocked his door and ran inside hurriedly, stopping in the drawing-room with wide eyes and a pounding heart. He strained his ears for a sound, an indication, that told him Phil was still here, but his apartment was dead silent. There was no sound except for the hammering of rain on his roof. Water dripped to the floor from his soaked clothes, and Dan panted heavily, his heart sinking and his vision blurry. Weird, hazy memories hung above his head, so close, but not quite in his grasp. “Phil?” he murmured shakily.

He was greeted with nothing but an all-encompassing silence that rang in his ears. His chest burned, and his eyes filled with tears. He was aching and desperate. He stumbled into the hallway unsteadily, and his hands brushed along the walls, searching for the red door but he found nothing, and his panic escalated. He swallowed the rising lump in his throat and pulled open every door in his apartment, eyes searching for Phil's gentle face. He trudged to the kitchen and his heart sank even more. “Phil?” he called desperately, but he didn't receive an answer.

“Fuck,” he breathed, shoving his hands into his hair and sniffing desperately. His legs were shaking, and he lowered himself to the floor shakily. He sniffed and a sob slipped out of his mouth. Phil had been patient and gentle with him, waiting for Dan to realise who he was with a kind smile on his face. Phil believed in him. Phil trusted him wholeheartedly, but Dan had stomped and spat on that trust, and Phil probably grew tired of waiting. Dan's chest ached, and he couldn't bear the fact that he might never see Phil ever again. “Phil,” he murmured desperately.

“Hmm?”

Dan blinked in shock, and his heart slammed against his chest. He turned his head and saw Phil right next to him, sitting there casually with his back against the counter and a gentle expression on his face. Dan gaped at him, his eyes filling with tears and his chest flooding with relief. Phil smiled at him, and Dan's heart soared with warmth. “Phil,” Dan whispered with relief, reaching out with wide eyes. “Phil.”

Phil smiled and his eyes were bright blue. Dan suddenly realised that Phil had never left his side. He had been right next to Dan all this time, but Dan simply couldn't see him. Dan swallowed and sniffed. Phil moved back and snapped his fingers. A towel landed on his hands, and he gently wiped the water on Dan's face, placing the towel on his head and drying his hair. “La hua niu heer, Dan,” he whispered, and it sounded like he was scolding Dan. “Fah li miu ra.”

Dan finally understood why he wasn't bothered by Phil's use of magic. It should have been the most shocking thing, but it felt familiar to him. It didn't surprise him whatsoever because it was something natural to him, something he used to see every day.

“Phil,” Dan said hastily, grabbing Phil's wrists and moving them away from his hair. “I–I heard the story of a beast . . . a beast who was banished from his world.”

Phil stilled, and his smile slipped off his face. He dropped his hands and nodded wordlessly.

Dan stared at him with wide eyes. His hands lifted and brushed Phil's black horns. It was hard and real, and a lump grew in Dan's throat. “That beast . . .” he murmured in a soft voice, “It's me, isn't it?”

Phil's expression was solemn, and he didn't say anything.

Dan placed his palm above Phil's hand and squeezed. “I'm the beast who was banished. I'm the one that keeps being reborn over and over again, aren't I?”

Phil didn't look at him, and that in itself spoke volumes. Dan's hands trembled as he grasped the book off the floor, holding it up. “This book,” he said shakily, “I wrote it. I was Lyra Redfield. I wrote it because I was–I was–I was so desperate and . . . and I dreamt about you every single night. I couldn't understand why I was seeing a strange man in my dreams, but you always looked so . . . so amazing and gentle and I missed you. I missed you so much, I–”

Phil leaned forward and pulled him into a tight hug. Dan's throat felt choked, and his words died in his throat. Bits and pieces of different memories of his past lives flooded into his brain, and he remembered how lonely and desperate he was, and how he _ached_. He ached and ached and ached for so long that he had wished he could just die and disappear without a trace. He always felt a little out of place in the human world in every life he had lived. He always felt strange and like he didn't belong. He had never formed a true connection with anyone, and he had always died alone. He had always been alone and dejected, but he finally felt alive again.

“Were you searching for me?” Dan asked shakily, “For ten thousand years?”

Phil nodded against his shoulder, and Dan sniffed, burying his face in Phil's shoulder. Phil held him tightly, and Dan's chest hurt. “I'm sorry,” Dan sniffed. “I'm so sorry.” His voice cracked. “I _know_ who you are, but I just–I can't remember about us, I–”

Phil pulled back and smiled at him. “Omni,” he whispered, and the red door materialized behind him. Phil stood up and offered a hand, pulling Dan to his feet.

Dan blinked at the door. “That door . . . I–I remember it. It's vague, but I know I've seen it before.”

Phil nodded and Dan asked, “Will it–will it help me remember?”

Phil nodded again and turned, grabbing the doorknob. Dan panicked. “W-wait, it's–I . . .” he stammered fearfully. “I don't know what to–what if I–” He stopped to catch his breath. ”I want to be with you. Can I–can I be with you?”

Phil stopped with a smile, stepping close to him and placing their foreheads together. He closed his eyes and murmured, “Mi lana faye.”

Dan's chest squeezed, and he nodded quietly. Phil pulled back and smiled, turning to the door. He opened it slowly, and Dan's breath immediately caught in his throat.

The sound of beautiful chirping birds and the buzz and hum of insects flowed into his ears. The deep, nostalgic smell of earth and moss and damp wood after rain flooded his nose, and his mind went dizzy. The door opened fully, and Dan was starry-eyed, gaping at the giant trees and the tall grass and the deep, dense forest that stretched on forever. The other side of the door was completely different, with different, obscure plants and unrecognisable animals and unique creatures everywhere he looked. He was mesmerised and amazed, but there was a strange sense of familiarity as well.

Phil gestured to the door, and Dan blinked. Phil smiled and walked inside, waving at Dan. Dan moved without thinking. There was an ache in his chest, an urgency, a desperate longing that made him walk dazedly like he was in a dream. He lifted his leg and placed it on the fresh, dew-covered grass and breathed in the familiar smell.

Almost immediately, memories rushed to the forefront of his brain, one after another, like he was being pummeled with information. He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut. His hands turned into claws, and his short hair immediately grew into curly locks that rested messily on his shoulder. His forehead slightly burned, and he could feel his horns growing back. His clothes vaporised, and he was suddenly naked. The bone pendant around his neck transformed into a necklace of several large and small bones connected by a thin black thread.

Dan let out a breath and opened his eyes, and he immediately felt like himself again. He stared at Phil and smirked. “Phil.”

Phil's eyes widened, and he stared at Dan with wide eyes. “Mi lana–” Dan blinked, and he could understand Phil perfectly. “–you. I love you.”

Dan jumped forward and wrapped his arms around Phil's neck, pulling him into a rough, messy kiss. His hands tangled in Phil's hair, and Phil's arms wrapped around his waist tightly. His tongue moved, and their teeth slightly clashed. It was a bit painful and messy and desperate, but Dan never wanted to pull back. Dan never wanted to let go. His hands squeezed Phil's neck, and their horns tangled painfully, but it was the most amazing kiss of Dan's entire life. He had never tasted such passion and love on Phil's mouth, and he could clearly taste Phil's sadness and desperation. “I love you. I love you so much. I love you,” Dan murmured breathlessly, “I love you.”

Phil panted heavily. “I missed you so much. I missed you so fucking much. Do you know what I'm saying? Do you understand me?” he asked breathlessly, placing their foreheads together and closing his eyes. “I love you, Dan. I love you so much.”

“I know,” Dan breathed, letting out a teary laugh. “I know.”

Phil hugged him tightly, and Dan didn't protest. He hugged back and closed his eyes, staying in that position and soaking Phil's warmth for a long long time. The door to his room was still open, and Dan couldn't stand looking at it. He pulled back eventually and stared at Phil's relieved face. “Phil,” he whispered, staring at the open door. “What will happen to everyone who knew me?”

Phil shrugged. “They will forget you. Every life you have lived will be erased. Every proof of your existence in the human world will be gone. The book will probably disappear.”

Dan pursed his lips quietly. “Hm.”

Phil frowned. “Do you want to–”

“No.” Dan shook his head. “It's alright. I'll be fine as long as I have you with me.” He lifted his hand and turned away from the door. “Omni.” He snapped his fingers. Pants appeared on his legs, and his torso was adorned with a thick fur coat. “I don't belong in that world. Close it.”

Phil smiled at him. “Omni.”

The door vanished, and Dan smiled back. He grabbed Phil's hand and intertwined their fingers, turning towards the small pathway in the middle of the forest. “Is our home still intact, or did you burn it to the ground?”

Phil chuckled in amusement, and Dan smiled, his heart filling with warmth. He stared at the trees around him and inhaled the smell of the forest. He could feel the earth under his bare feet, and the humidity in the air. It was almost like everything had fallen back into its rightful place, and he felt like he truly belonged here. “This.” Dan smiled, squeezing Phil's hand. “This is my home.”

**Author's Note:**

> Like/reblog [here](https://amillionregrets.tumblr.com/post/642746160591798272/necklace-of-bones) if you enjoyed the fic! I'm trying to be a little more active on tumblr this year lol. 
> 
> I might write a prequel or a fluffy AU of this fic. I just really like the idea of Dnp living in a forest. I have a few interesting scenes in my head lol I get the feeling I'm going to write a fluffy fic about Dan and Phil's daily life in that world when I get time, but for now this is it. Hope you enjoyed it! :D


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